Family and Kinship

Most life events in Afghanistan occur in the context of family and kin; these include birth, marriage, child rearing, education, occupational choice, politics, and death. Afghan society is patriarchal and patrilineal. Brothers and their families often live together in a single compound. Polygamy is allowed, although it is uncommon. Children are often raised communally, so that most Afghans are close to their cousins. In the traditional culture, marriages are arranged by kin elders and first-cousin marriages are preferred. Women marry relatively young, often in their middle teens, and are expected to have a large family, preferably of sons. Divorce is possible but uncommon.

In the Afghan immigrant community in Canada, the trend is towards the nuclear family, with less family and kin control over life events. Although arranged marriages still occur, it is now the norm for family elders merely to be “consulted.” Older members of the community in Canada express concern that the second generation is growing up without the traditional values since less prestige is given to age and kin status. Yet, despite the tensions as old ways are replaced by new ones, the family unit continues to provide solid support for the Afghan community. Families pool money to start businesses, help the new immigrants, assist those in the community who need aid or emotional sustenance, and in general enable this relatively new immigrant community to survive.