From: The Encyclopedia of Canada's Peoples/Gypsies/rom/Matt T. Salo
The social organization of the Rom is based almost solely on kinship. Despite the folklore about Gypsy kings and queens, they constitute an egalitarian community. The only leadership that exists is the so-called rom baro, literally a “big man.” This title is bestowed upon an individual who has gained power through his non-Gypsy contacts with important people or earned the respect of his community through personal qualities, such as shrewdness in Gypsy politics, sound decision making, oratorical skills, or generosity, and only secondarily for his wealth.
Generally, the oldest male in each lineage still in full possession of his mental faculties is the leader of that group; he negotiates business deals and mediates conflicts among the members of his and other lineages. He earns the title of a rom baro when his intelligence and judgment become widely known, and people outside his lineage start to call on him for advice or help in matters that they cannot handle by themselves. The position is not hereditary, and there is no possibility that it will develop into a “royal” lineage. Each person has to earn his or her own status in the community. The institutions of more complex societies are absent among the Rom, and attempts by some in the United States to gain recognition for organizations claiming to represent other Rom can be seen simply as efforts by individuals to exert power over other lineages. In no case have they had the support of more than a fraction of the Rom population. No such attempts to wield power have been reported in Canada.
Because of a preference for residing with the husband’s family after marriage and a strong belief in the primacy of the male line, the groups that form the important units of social interaction are the vitsi, or lineages. A vitsa (lineage) is a group of patrilineally related male kin and their offspring tracing their descent from a single ancestor, after whom the vitsa is usually named. Some vitsi have several names: from a geographical location with which they were once associated, such as the Arxenturia, Mexicaya, or Wichitas, or in the form of a nickname, such as the Papineshti, which is derived from the word for goose (papin). The term “vitsa” is also used at a more inclusive level to refer to clans and even what are now called tribes. For example, a question about one’s vitsa may elicit an answer that the person is a Machwano. The Machwaya in North America may once have been descended from a common ancestor originating in Mačva (northern Serbia), but today the group consists of several independent lineages whose common origin is unknown. Similarly, the Mineshti, who today consist of at least a dozen separate vitsi, are occasionally described as a single one.
Practically all Rom marriages are arranged by the parents of the couple. Formerly, the young people might not have been consulted on the matter, and marriages could take place in which the bride and groom were not acquainted or even have met. Today the young people are usually consulted, and if one or other vigorously opposes the marriage, it may not take place. They are usually between the ages of fourteen and eighteen at the time of their first marriage. Normally it is the groom’s family who makes the initial approach to the family of the intended daughter-in-law (bori), often through a third party to test the waters. If this contact is positive, the families begin negotiating the bride price in a more formal mangimos (asking). Once the price – today generally between ten and twenty thousand dollars – has been settled and at least a down payment made, plans for the wedding begin. Usually the bride’s parents provide a couple of thousand dollars towards its cost. Wrangling over money is common and often leads to the break-up of the match either before or after the wedding.
Depending on the wealth of the families and a desire to impress other Rom, the wedding itself may be an elaborate affair. Formerly, such celebrations lasted for three days; today they are squeezed into a single day or, increasingly, because of restrictions on rented halls, into an evening. The bride is expected to demonstrate her sadness at leaving her parents by crying before the event, symbolized by the placing of a veil, or šohano, on her head. Not to weep would be taken as a sign of disrespect for her parents. Towards the end of the wedding a collection of money (daro) is taken up among the guests to help to defray the cost of the match for the groom’s family.
The arrangement of a marriage creates a special relationship between the parents of the couple; they become xanamika, or co-parents-in-law, to each others’ families. Because of the possibility of disagreement over money or the incompatibility of the couple, the xanamik relationship is a precarious one. The potential for trouble in a union with a little-known family has led many Rom to marry their children into families with whom they have had previous dealings. This practice has resulted in a form of exchange marriage in which the boys from one family marry the girls from another and vice versa. The pattern may be repeated generation after generation, until, as one Rom expressed it, “We are practically one vitsa.” In fact, marriages within the same vitsa are fairly common; they even occur between first cousins, although the Rom are aware that the Catholic Church opposes such unions.
It is becoming more common today for the couple to live only briefly with the groom’s parents and for them to establish a separate household, though still in close proximity to the paternal home, soon after the wedding. If the groom’s parents are dead or too poor to afford the bride price, the couple may live with the bride’s parents, in which case the husband becomes known as a amutro ande tsera, or “a son-in-law in the tenthold.” After the birth of the first child, the couple is considered to have reached full adulthood and may establish an independent residence. However, the most common pattern is a series of households, some independent and others with various relatives. The couple may return to the groom’s parents for varying lengths of time or stay occasionally with the bride’s parents for shorter periods. Regardless of where they actually reside, the young people are considered part of the groom’s extended family, with whom they remain in intense interaction for the rest of their lives if the marriage lasts.
The extended family, headed by the oldest active male, is the most significant functional unit of the Rom community. It used to be synonymous with the tsera, or tenthold, and consist of a patrilocal extended family camping together, but since the Rom have moved into urban surroundings, it has become more difficult to shelter such a large number of people together. Consequently, the term is losing its significance and may soon disappear. Wives are in an anomalous position in that they are not truly part of the patrilineage, or vitsa, and yet are expected to show loyalty to it. Divorces are common among Gypsies, especially for first marriages and unions with non-Gypsies. They are easy to obtain by mutual consent in the absence of religious or civil certification, but in case of disagreement a kris – an ad hoc court of respected elders – may have to be convened. The payment of bride price often creates complications between the bride’s and groom’s parents, since at least a portion of the price has to be returned.
Children are loved and treasured above all else. A couple without children is considered unfortunate indeed, and, if the prospects for offspring are poor, the individuals will try to adopt children. Most Gypsy children are born into a large, extended family that is constantly visited by a host of other relatives and friends, and they are hardly ever left alone. They learn to trust a wide variety of relations; a toddler may have as many caretakers as there are women in the household. The children grow up secure in the knowledge that they will always have family to defend them in case of trouble, but at the same time they tend to remain dependent on others. Child raising is permissive in that offspring are treated as individuals with minds of their own; nevertheless, the young learn to obey and respect their elders.
The Rom do not like to send their children to school because they fear they will learn immoral conduct, such as the use of drugs, from the gaže (non-Gypsies). They may also be subjected to ridicule or even violence. One family described as typical its experience of teaching the children to be obedient and respectful, only to find that they had become disobedient after two years in school. In most localities, truant officers have given up trying to enforce school attendance on Gypsies. Even when they are able to get the children to school temporarily under the threat of fines or imprisonment, the children are withdrawn as soon as the family moves and there is no way to follow up on what they do in an unknown new location.
The most frequent problems requiring social control within the Gypsy community revolve around marriage disputes and money. To resolve disputes over bride prices, fortune-telling territory, or unfairness in the division of profits from work, as well as occasional cases of alleged infidelity, the Rom make use of a judicial system based on orally transmitted law and a history of precedents. It finds expression in the kris. This court depends entirely on the willingness of the community to abide by its decisions. The Gypsy commonweal, constituted by the unwritten agreement to acknowledge the authority of the kris and the rule of tradition, has come under increasing attack in recent years. Today in Canada, the kris is said not to be very effective because there are not enough old people to enforce its rules. Since young people no longer listen to their elders, respect and honour have ceased to be sanctions. The younger Rom often ignore the judgments of the kris, forcing some plaintiffs to resort to regular Canadian courts and the police, even for strictly internal conflicts.
A good example is the handling of territorial disputes. Because fortune-telling requires a fairly large population base in order to provide an adequate clientele, competition over good locations can become intense. In the 1960s there was an attempt to set up rules governing how close to an established site a new fortune-telling location could be. First, ten-block limits were suggested and then five- and three-block ones; however, no one was able to enforce the rules, and conflict ensued. Moreover, because most municipalities in Canada have regulations restricting fortune-telling, the Rom are forced to find ways to circumvent them by, for example, making arrangements with local police forces, which in turn make the Rom vulnerable for prosecution. In the absence of internal mechanisms for the enforcement of decisions made within the Rom community, non-Gypsy courts are now regularly used, or misused, to remove or harass unwelcome competitors.
